Emma's Birth Story

The previous post shows that I went to Bethanie's baby shower, she mentioned she hadn't heard my Emma's birth story. That reminded me that as I have talked about it a lot, I have never written it down! So here goes!



June 4, 2008

I was 7 days overdue. So, I had an appointment, and a non stress test at my midwife's office. The tests showed that Emma was doing fine. However, I was uncomfortable..I finally decided that I was ready to be induced. My midwife gave me the number to Labor and Delivery at the hospital and told me to call in the morning to see when they can get me in.


June 5, 2008
I wake up at 6am having mild contractions, sporadic in timing however. An hour later I wake husband up and ask him to time the contractions. After having some promising contractions that were 5-7 mins apart they start to get even more sporadic! Def not in labor. I call the hospital at 8:30, they say there are no rooms available call back at 10. I call back at 10, and they still don't have any rooms. Finally, at 12:30 they call and tell us to come in! Here we go. We arrive at the hospital and are finally all settled in our room by 2ish. At 4 my midwife shows up and checks me, I was 2cm dilated. She gives me cervadil and have to lay for two hours afterwards. Forgive me because this is where the details get alittle sparse, I don't remember everything. By the evening time I am def uncomfortable. Husband and I do some walking around and talking. By 11pm the nurse comes in and asks me if I want anything to help me sleep. I accept (that was a bad idea).

June 6, 2008
I sleep for a couple of hours, and wake up feeling tired and out of it! I was groggy just about all day from that stupid drug! By 6am I am in a lot more pain. Actually, asked for an epidural then...I knew I didn't want it but I was in a mood! Midwife comes and checks me and I am only 4cms! At this point I am ok'd to go labor in the tub, and I gladly accept that offer. The Jacuzzi tub was a God send to me. It didn't take the pain away, but it relaxed me. I could even fall asleep in between the contractions. All through the day my contractions are getting more intense and I spend the time walking the halls and laboring in the tub. I think around 1 or 2 my midwife comes in a checks me again. At this point I was only 5-6 cm dilated (boo!!). She suggests that although its taking a long time I am making progress- which was about 1/4 centimeter an hour. I decide to keep laboring without pitocin or epidural at this point since its confirmed that there is something going on. Husband and my mom were tired at this point as well, and could tell that they wanted to hurry this along lol. I think midwife comes in again at 4ish, I hadn't made any more progress at this point. She very politely suggested that I have pitocin a long with an epidural. She said that the epidural was more so I could rest! I accepted w/o hesitation at this point! There goes my all natural child birthing experience. 6ish I have the pitocin and an epidural, and I have a smile on my face! I turn TLC on and watch what not to wear :) I get some sleep and everything is good.

June 7, 2008
At about 12am I start feeling a lot of pressure, and let me tell you it wasn't pleasant! I get checked and I am 9cm, so they don't want me to start pushing quite yet. I spend about another hour or so, begging them to let me push! Finally, at about 1am(ish) I start to push, it lasted for an hour however it didn't seem that long! Finally at 2:04am weighing in at a healthy 7lbs and 11oz and 20 3/4 inches long. By 4am we are in our postpartum room and trying to get some rest!

Baby Shower!!!

Today was one if my closests friend's baby shower..here are some pics!

Emma playing!
From the left me, Beth, Sarah

(belly shot)

close up!

The present I got her!

Lets put my life into perspective

I have mentioned the Bring the rain blog, and we are still praying for baby Harper (who is doing great by the way). I just keep stumbling across stories of loss of babies that are so heart wrenching!! It really puts my life into perspective. Tonight, I was reading through another blog of a brave mother what delivered her son at 36 weeks knowing he the probability of him living outside the womb was slim. Little Issac was born on October 7th, and was alive for a short 16 mins....

Fast forward today! Emma has been alittle sick this week, not sleeping well at night! So, we've been up every morning to see Daddy off to work. Along with not sleeping well she has just been a lot more clingy! By about 12pm I had had it!! I just wanted her to take a nap and play be herself for awhile! I called husband in a bad mood! She finally naps, and I nap. She wakes up, Daddy is home and I am trying to get ready to go. And she is crying because all she wants as I am in the bathroom trying to do my hair and make up is to see me. So, when I walked out the door as Husband was holding a yelling and screaming baby- I sighed a big sigh of relief.

Okay, so I know theses are normal feelings for any mother, so I am not trying to discount that. However, this is in fact what I had been praying for! This is what it means to be a mommy! Many parents who have longed so long for a baby- would love to be in my situation. So, before I finally go to bed tonight- I plan on scooping my baby in my arms and giving her a kiss!! I told myself after the Chemical Pregnancy in December that I would savor every moment with my daughter and sometimes I just need to be reminded of that!

Target Trip

I love Target!!!

Sarah, Israel, Me, and Emma had to go to get a baby shower present, finally my last baby shower out of three this month. While there, I scored the cutest pair of shoes (well really two, however husband would not be fond of me coming home of two pairs of shoes for a 7 month old girl) Here is the pair that I bought.

And here is the pair that I will be going back to get when spring is near..

I have to say that I am always so proud of my restraint because I fall in love with everything in there, except for well the woman's clothes. I went into their section and was just not impressed with what they had out. I don't know maybe its the fact that I am unhappy with my post pregnancy body and I am forced back to the plus size section of the store(yes I said plus size). You know the section, the one that has the small corner of the store hiding next to the changing rooms, intermixed with the maternity clothes (how shameful). I am hoping that I am not wandering for too long over in that side of the store, we shall see though! Over all it was a good day though!

Lack

My life is lacking something right now! Well, really its like one thing because of another thing! Really when I think about it my life is lacking motivation. Beyond the basics of keeping Emma in tip top shape, feeding, bathing, and dressing and the other wonderful things, keeping my house clean, and semi-regular dinner making.....I have no motivation to do anything else! Believe it or not I think it all stems from my lack of closeness with God lately.

I don't remember the last time I attempted to pick up my Bible, prayer..that's alittle better, because well I can do that all through out the day! However, on my part the effort has been embarrassing! The last time I taught a lesson in youth group I was explaining to them, that as we move into a new direction with doing outreaches that they need to make sure that they were putting God before everything, they were walking in His ways! Not, just coming to church and youth group but truly, serving the Lord. Then I took a look at myself. Yes, I go to church, Bible study, youth group, worship practice, we say grace as a family at dinner time. I read my Daughter stories from the Bible....I just haven't been living a life that shows any kind of personal relationship with the Lord!

It all goes hand in hand really...I find when I sacrifice the time to spend even just 15-20mins with the Lord during the day..everything else just falls in place! I have the energy to do what I need to, I have the motivation to do get the things done that need to during the day! And really this lack of motivation is killing my grades! I am trying to do everything on my own strength not relying on the Lord! I guess the first step is admitting that I have a problem :) I will try to do better!

"omg, really? No way!"

Well, that was the reaction that I got when I told Husband's co-workers how old I was when I got married! For the record I was 19! Saturday night Husband and I had a blissfully wonderful, but cold night out without Emma! We had a farewell dinner for his boss. So we were sitting at the table with one couple, probably mid 30s and his boss, who is a divorced career driven lady. The couple in their 30s say "how long have you been married?" me "Five years." The nice couple lady "really?" with a puzzled look on her face! Me "Yeah, I was 19 when I got married." Geesh, their reaction was enough to get the other tables looking at us! I was so baffled by their reactions....Then I remembered! I am used to be around people who all got married at around that age, for the same reasons!

Out of my 5 closest friends, the oldest to get married was my buddy Sarah who was I *think* 21. The rest of us got married at either 18,19, or 20. Now why you may ask? I guess our beliefs! I knew even after Husband broke up with me my senior year in high school that he was the guy that I was supposed to marry! I just knew! Felt confident about it! And apparently after 4 months of being a part and a month before me moving away to college, he finally figured it out as well! We spent two college semesters away from each other (not that far, only three hours). And I just couldn't stand it! We both knew he would be transferring to a SUNY school the next year, and I was at a private Christian school. The thing was, we wanted to be with each other! So, why not just get married? Seriously, isn't that what people do? They find the person they are going to marry, and they get married? Even if it is at that age? Why didn't we live with each other? That's easy, we just believed that, is not what a Godly relationship looked like! So, yes we got married young, and I look back and it seems real young! Honestly, I kind of want to be the couple that proves everyone wrong, all statistics say that marrying young is a bad idea and it can't end well! I think ours will! The nice couple in their 30s with two kids, and a life said well your likes and dislikes change! I agreed they do! However, come on all those married people out there, didn't you have the moment when you just knew you could spend the rest of your life with that certain person? So, why then did the couple in their 30s get married if their likes and dislikes will change as well? Because, they knew they could and wanted to spend the rest of their life with each other! Why then, at 19 couldn't I make that decision rationally?

People, who are my age now are and are married are getting divorced left and right, and frankly they are giving couples like us a bad rep! Seriously, I think that even at my young age I realized that being married is hard work, and that's where people get thrown off! They think why should a relationship be work? Well, everything we do is work! Why wouldn't we expect for our marriage to be? I mean think about it! Having a baby is work- do we just not give birth b/c it is work? Making food is work, but we still eat? You get it? So, although getting married at 19 has equaled more work, I think it is worth it! and I will continue to shock people, when I tell them that I got married at 19! Well, here is me and husband a couple weeks past my 19th birthday! This happens to be one of the greatest days of my life! And I still believe that after five years of, maturing, changing, and sometimes doubting!

Recalls, dressers, Emma's Room!

Emma's crib has been recalled......

Husband's comment when I found out..."What the one she has never used before?" Yeah smart mouth that one! Maybe its good she hasn't been in it!!Well, really not to whole crib just the support brackets for the mattress board. So anyways, what I need to figure out is do I want to go through the hassle of getting the model number (which I am not sure we have anymore) and the date of purchase? Or do I want to let Husband's Dad who is an engineer design and make brackets for the mattress board? Well, considering that we didn't buy it, it was purchased online, and it was bought over a year ago. I think I will be putting my Daughther's safety into her Grandfather's hands! Although, I have to admit he is handy and has designed and built many things!

The other thing is, my dear friend Sarah let us use her changing table while she was out of the country, which has been a great blessing. However, she is now back and expecting a new baby! So, I need to replace that! I am thinking I will get a dresser that has room for a changing pad on top that way she can use it when she is older. But, the one that matches her crib cost $219. Which I suppose isn't bad- but the crib didn't even cost that much! Here is a pic..

So, I will probably spending the next couple of weeks before we give the changing table back looking in second hand shops and craigslist.com looking for something that will work! If we have to we will buy this one, but if you know me I am all about finding a good deal!

I was upstairs today for a little while trying to get the office organized and take the remainder of the stuff that we stored in there while painting the office out, and thought to myself I think I am ready for her to be up here! Finally, after almost eight months! :)

Since we are talking about Emma's room I thought I would add some pics, There are def more impressive ones out there, but I am pretty fond of it:

Wohoo for one follower!!

Thanks you to my one and only follower (so far) for joining in! Welcome to my life!

Okay- time to be a bigheaded mommy for one min. Today, we traveled to a friend's baby shower. It was fun, and Emma was such a good girl! There were a couple of people there that I didn't know and of course they did the common "oh your baby is so cute" thing. Well, there was this one chick there who kept on saying: "Wow, your daughter is so beautiful, oh she is a cutie" on and on for the whole time! I am flattered really, and thats because I am not sure where she got her looks from, but yeah she is cute! How do you respond to that? I say thank you, but what if the person keeps on saying it? Anyways, it still kind of made me feel kind of good! That coupled with the comments that we get about her crawling early (I didn't think that was early) and now she is pulling herself up and walk with behind things, it makes me proud I guess. Although, I know that really she was formed by God, knit together perfectly for her purpose in life! So, yeah already at 7 months I am proud of her, hopefully all her gifts and talents will be used for the glory of God!

Also, I don't know if this will change once she gets older, but whenever we spend an evening away from her I am always so eager to be back with her! Tonight we went to a farwell dinner for husband's boss(thats a story in and of its self)! It was nice to get dressed up, have a nice dinner, and have adult conversation. But- at the end of the dinner a bunch of people were going back to the bar area and milling around drinking and socialzing. Normally, I would of stuck around (to socialize, drinking hasn't been appealing to me lately) Instead, I felt like stopping quickly at starbucks and getting back to me little sweetie! I must be growing up! lol. Oh well, this is my boring update for the night!

Enjoy some pictures of my cutie!

Who says we can't have it all?

Disclaimer: this is coming off the heels of an argument with husband and some very strong feelings on my part, if you don't agree I am sorry! But do it respectfully!


So, we moved into our house just about year ago! Although we knew we had a baby on the way we were talking about pets and how I want a dog. Husband oh so intelligently suggested maybe we wait Little while after Emma was born and we've been in the house awhile! Okay, sure! I can do that. Well, I just happen to be browsing through craigslist (another thing I do when I don't want to do homework). And there were these cutest little lab puppies for sale! I fell in love- e-mailed the link to husband and said please and batted my ever so cute puppy dog eyes. He said "no way."
After shaking of the initial shock of being told "no" like I am a five year old girl asking for a pony I just started to get upset. Husband got home and I brought up! He threw out the line: "well you want it all don't you? a puppy, a baby, a job, you are finishing your degree!" You can't have it all! And that is where I get upset!

Whether husband meant this or not, I'm going to bring it up because I feel strongly about it! and my opinions may run contrary to those of you who know me! Husband was referring to me wanting to work outside of the home and have more kids sooner rather than later! Being a Christan and having spent a year teaching at a christian school, I was around a lot of people (men mostly) whose first thought when they found out I was pregnant was oh, and this was your first year teaching too bad you won't be back next year! Ah, excuse me? Who said I wouldn't be back next year?! Another common sentiment was "Oh Mrs. English teacher once you lay your eyes on her you will not want to leaver her." Well, that is all fine and dandy- but what if I want to go back to work? Who mandated that Christian women get pregnant, and stay at home? Being a stay at home mom is a job! Regardless if we get paid or not! I happen to think we all have callings in our life! I think really, it needs to be a calling to stay at home with a child all day long! Just as I feel me working with teens outside of the home is a calling! I think we are given certain gifts and graces to work within those jobs! I happen to think that I am meant to work outside of the home. This does not mean however, that I hate being at home with Emma! What it does mean is, yes there is a certain level of not being fully satisfied because I do believe there is more I should be doing! However, I do feel like our family is not complete and another child is a definite thing, husband agrees on that much! But, why do people make me feel like a walking contradiction? Hey, if I can afford to send one or two kids to daycare that I know and trust, and work on the week days..What is wrong with that? Just as I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom!

Its weird that we live in a world that just swore in our first Black president, but still there are people out there that believe a woman's place is in the home!

Hello

~~~~~~> pointing over to the side bar where it says followers 0!! That kind of makes me said, so if you read this for any reason, whether I know you or not! you should officially follow! :)


I haven't written much this week because I lead a very boring existence and not much has been going on! I am still working on being a college student (not doing a good job-hence the fact that I am here now). Got a lot of cleaning done today, my house looks presentable and that is always good! Well, except for our bedroom! But then again our bedroom is barley ever in acceptable show to visitors state! Oh one exciting thing: one of my closest friends Sarah is back!! Wohoo!! She just spent the last year of her life in Korea with her Solider husband. Now she is home and I have someone to hang out with, well until they head to their next base!

You know, I think I may have something serious and interesting to talk about, but I think it deserves it own post.....

Big girl in a new seat!

Emma liked her carseat better when it wasn't in the car yet!!

Praying for baby Harper

The icon on the right of the page is from a blog of a nice lady that I don't know!! I came across her blog one day...just happened to be the day that she gave birth to her beautiful baby girl Harper! Well, Harper was born with some problems and she is in need of our prayers!! Please pray with me!! Children are a blessing from the Lord!! Harper is a blessing to her parents and her life is meant to be lived to the fullest!! That's what I am praying!! God is bigger than any heart problems, any doctors who say she won't live!!

New car seats and The Grand Buffet!

We decided that Emma was ready for her new big girl car seat! She looked kinda big sitting in her infant one! So, we slipped her in it on our trip to dinner and grocery shopping! She cried the whole way there!! Also, on the way home she cried (until she fell asleep). How sad!! She hates her car seat! I am tempted just to put her back in the infant one!! Technically she has two more pounds to go until she has reached the limit! I brought the camera to take pictures of the momentous occasion-but decided that a crying baby picture was not what I was going for! I will stick the camera in the diaper bag tomorrow morning on the way to church and see how it goes!

Also, occasionally before we go grocery shopping husband and I go to The Grand Buffet for dinner! We love that place! And the waitress there loves Emma! Whenever we go in there she instantly gets a crowd around her! They are pinching her cheeks, giving her five, and our waitress tonight even gave her a fortune cookie! LoL! So, today was a pretty good day! I will add some pics of emma in her car seat tomorrow!!

One of those days!!

Today is one of those days!!



You know! The kind of day when all you want to do is through some sweat pants on, go into the bedroom with M&Ms and your laptop and escape! LOL. Actually, that this what I did this evening! As husband was giving Emma her last bottle of the night, I decided that I was done for the night as well!!
Emma's nap schedule is all of- therefore mommy got nothing done today! I have a paper due on Sunday, and I have not started it! Dishes got put away, but none were cleaned, toys have no been put away tonight, I did not make my hair appointment, or dentist appointment. To say the least I am feeling a little overwhelmed! It seems as though, being a mommy, wife, yg leader, my volunteering job for the pregnancy center, and full time college student is a little much! Have I mentioned that I am not good at saying "no" I suppose I need to figure out what I should I give up!
Well, thanks for letting me vent! I am sure I will come back with some more uplifting stuff later!

7 blissfull months with Emma.

Today, was rough! emma decided not stay in her regular routine for some reason. She got up at 9am..and didn't take a nap until 3! And she was in EVERYTHING! Suffice it to say I got nothing done today! By the time Husband got home Emma was all his for the night! Then, after a bottle and our normal bedtime routine she was down for the count. Or so we thought!! She woke up two hours later! and stayed awake for another two! And although I was frustrated, as she was finally getting ready to go back to sleep, laying on my chest with her blankie and new friend miss bunny..tears welled up in my eyes! How thankful I am to have this little girl in my life! She truly is a blessing!! I am enjoying every min with her! So, in celebration of my beautiful blessing I thought I would share some of my favorite moments with her over the last 7 months!! Enjoy!

"Jesus Bring the Rain"

Bring the rain is the name of a blog that I finally sat down and read today! For awhile now my friend has been telling me all about it! She told me about the woman's struggle with losing her baby, and having living through the process. I do not in summarizing it, do it justice! You must go read it yourself!

www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com


The reason why I am raving about this blog, is because I truly am in awe of this woman's faith! If you read her story you will know why! To me, she belongs in the "Hall of Faith" that's what many call the Chapter in Hebrews that talks about the great people of faith! After the devastating loss of her Daughter, she lives life. Although, as I am sure she would be the first to point out, not perfectly, but to the best of her abilities- all because of the Glory of God! She, along with her family have taken something that the rest of the world would deem tragic, and celebrated! Yes, they think it is sad and are of course hurt, and still cry at the loss of their daughter. They however; rejoice in the fact that their little baby Daughter, and sister is in heaven now. Her little body completely healed!

Just in the hour I spent bawling over the story, pictures, and videos(and the subsequent hours I spent loving on Emma). I learned something: I learned that indeed every moment given with somebody on this earth is to be cherished!! Not to take any time with my little girl granted! Hence, the hours I spent loving on Emma that I alluded to already! She definitely making "beauty from ashes."

Oh yeah, I'm a college student!

I really am! And sometimes I forget that! I am taking one online class and three distance learning classes! So, basically I work at my own pace and just make sure things get done by the da ythey are due! Well, since I am not in class everyday I tend to neglect my homework. Sometimes, I plain forget about it! I mean really, its not much of a change from when my butt actually occupied a seat in class- I was still a procrastinator- now I am just now being lazy! Or I dunno maybe I have an exuse! A 7 month old daugther who is in to everything already? I am so thankful that something exsists that makes it possible for people like to me to get their degree, but it is not my preferred method of learning! I like being in class. Being in class is where I scored the points! I have to admit Profs loved me. I talked, and I asked questions, I had no problem public speaking. Its the whole writing taking test things that I didn't perfect! And well, that all these classes consist of. I don't think I am failing, well statics is a bust- but I have a plan of action for that! However, my other classes I should get A's no problem!

Well, speaking of my procrastination ..I have a 10 page paper due in a week- and I have no even started the research that goes into it yet! Go me!! I'm off to find out more about Sharon Creech!

Ready to join the workforce again!

Well, if you glance over at Emma's ticker today it says she is 7 months old! Holy crap! where did the last 7 months go? She is now more than half way to celebrating her first birthday. With that being said I am ready to go back to working! These last 7 months have flown by, but also has creeped by on the days where I have nothing to do, but sit at home. I have always known that I wouldn't stay home the whole time my kid(s) are small. So, now I am really starting to feel like I am ready for it! I am holding out though..hopefully by the fall my BA will FINALLY be done. I know that my old place of work will have an opening next year, so we will see what happens. We are so blessed that we have been able to afford our current situation. I hate to give it up, and kind of feel bad that any other children probably won't get to spend as much time with me as Emma has, but it will all work out!

Anyways, Emma is currently sleeping in front of me in her car seat. I am pretty sure she is teething. And a side effect of the teething is a running nose, which in turn leads to a refusal to sleep laying down! Hence, the carseat sitting in front of the couch. We did this last night as well. I would much rather be sleeping next to my husband and my own bed- but this is what comes with being a mother. And even though I do feel like I want to go back to work, nothing could take the fact that I am a mother away from me! A mother is the best job title by far!

"The Battle Belongs to the Lord"

Its true, it really does!

I was reminded during worship today that the "battle" truly does belong to the Lord. So what is my battle you may ask? Well, that is a good question! There are many! For one..I feel like I am fighting a battle with my body! The fact that it took us three years to get pregnant with Emma, and then this last month with the chemical pregnancy. I feel like I battle my body to do what it is supposed to do when it comes to making a baby stick! However, with that being said- Emma is our little miracle baby- so just because we had this set back does not mean that this battle as well does not belong to the Lord! Because it does!

Other battles? My struggles with my marriage- Dan and I have had our ups and downs and the more I think of it the more I think its no more than any other husband and wife that I know! I love my husband so much, and my love for him has only multiplied since he has become a father! he is so great with Emma! And surprisingly we agree a lot more than we thought we would when it comes to raising her! But in any case...what I finally had to do was say Lord this marriage belongs to you..do what you will with it! Along the way, we've had our counseling sessions, our blows up and make ups- its all working out though!

Our struggle with fiances seems to been handed over the Lord and he has definitely been victorious! We are not rich by any means and with me not working, its a little tighter than it had been for the last two years! However, our first three years of marriage were spent as poor college students living off family generosity, and student loans. We have turned a corner and we can now afford to pay all of our bills! We have a house over our head, food on the table, and heat coming out of the vents! thank you Lord!

Anyways, those are just a couple...what do you struggle with today? I encourage you to hand them over to the Lord and see what he does with them!

Lets be serious...

I love Chocolate Panda Paws Ice Cream...seriously :) thats it!