Christmas Eve!!

Its exciting to be celebrating Christmas with Emma for the first time! Last year at the time we had just found out the Emma is a she..and we were only imagining what life would be like with a baby! And now that she is here, its been awesome! Tonight, we had Christmas over at husband's side of the family! We had dinner, lots of desserts, and lots of presents! Mostly for the babies though! Emma loves all the new toys, and books that she got from her Grandma and Grandpa and her Aunt and Uncle! Tomorrow, we are going to wake up and have breakfast, then open presents with just Dan, Emma, and I. Then through out the day my family will trickle in. None of them will stay very long, just long enough to exchange gifts and enjoy some yummies together! I am very excited to be in our own house for the first time during Christmas. We have a nice place to entertain our family!

I hate to feel this way..but there is a twinge of sadness that runs through me tonight! Tonight we had planned to announce that therowfamily was expecting rowbaby #2, but of course that changed! So, that made me kind of sad! It feels weird...its like I am mourning the loss of something, that was barely there. For those of you who don't know what a chemical pregnancy is: the egg gets fertilized- but, it does not implant, and just gets "washed away." Its also called an early miscarriage, b/c essentially that's what it is. Most women don't know it has happened..They just think their periods were a couple of days late, and little heavier than normal. However, I had a hunch that made me test a day after my period was late! The positive test that I got, came from the hormones released when the egg is fertilized! Its enough to give me the early symptoms of pregnancy, but then when I to go confirm a pregnancy- the hormones are obviously too low to confirm. So, we had known for about four days before we went to get my hormones tested. We had just started to think about Rowbaby#2 in terms of he/she was going to join us in a mere 9 months! And then- I get the call, that there is no baby there! So although, there was only the presence of a fertilized egg for a short amount of time, it was time enough to start dreaming...and that is why with some regret, there is a twinge of sadness that runs through me tonight!

Merry Christmas all!