Believe!

On Sunday we had a guest speaker. He has been coming to our church doing some training over the last couple of months. He is really good speaker, and knows his stuff. He did have a "word" for me that automatically brought me to tears. "It was it's okay to believe again" That has got to be the most profound sentence that has been said to me in many a months! His sermon was about unbelief. We were talking about unbelief and he asked what is the one way to cure unbelief? The answer is obviously to believe! However, that is not so easy!

Is it easy to believe? Can you just dive right in and believe? Believe the promises of God? Believe that he died on the cross for our sins? Believe that he has a bigger and better plan for our lives that we could ever imagine? For me, its not that he is the Savior of the world- its healing! What is the one thing that you can't let go of?

I went to him after church and said you made it sound so easy! It's not! I suppose that is where faith comes in however, I have been jaded. Yes, dare I say I have been jaded by the many years of church attendance. Ever heard the saying "church would be perfect w/o the people?" yeah, well its true. Well, and also the more I learn, the more I question things and not just take them for face value! There is no question about it there is a supernatural element of Christianity. I have seen it at play in my own life. Emma is proof it! I do believe that it was a miracle that I carried Emma to full term. However, when it comes to how much of Christianity is Supernatural is where I am struggling to believe!

You see, I know Jesus preforms miracles everyday! I believe he is alive and hearing every single one of our prayers. Sometimes, though, I think we forget the other side of Jesus. The side of him that lived his life hanging out with prostitutes and tax collectors. He is the person who did not throw a stone at the lady living in adultery. I get that Jesus performed miracles but, above all he LOVED! That is in fact the greatest commandment in the Bible. Maybe I am just being nit picky but, there is something inside of me that wants to reconcile these doubts that I have about what I have been taught over the last year. Well, anyways- this may not make sense to many people! However, it feels good to get it out!